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By Brett Tagle
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Assisted living facilities are widely available in all states nowadays. Assisted living provides care for a senior who cannot care for their daily needs, but does not need a nursing home. A senior in assisted living communities will still have their independence, but will also have the care that they may need any time of the day. As we age, assisted living facilities can be a big help for ourselves and our families.

Senior living can be a challenge as our ability to take care of ourselves decreases over time. We also tend to lose friends as the years go by. Assisted living facilities offer an excellent way to help ease some of the problems that are encountered in our later years. These challenges need to be met by both the senior and his or her family. While we all want to provide the best care possible for our senior parents,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the time may come when their care needs are just too great for a family to meet. This is when assisted living communities can be just the right solution.

The services provided in assisted living communities are similar to home health care services. The main focus of the care is on the activities of daily living, such as cooking,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cleaning,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], laundry, and possibly dressing and toileting. Nursing care is generally not provided,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], although many a senior requires medications that the assisted living facilities can also help with. And of course,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a senior in assisted living maintains an independent living space,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so nursing care can be brought in just as it could by a home health care provider. The senior is still at home, just in a different location.

If you look for info on assisted care facilities, you'll find that they are much different than they were in the past. These facilities are now true senior living communities, where a senior can maintain their independence and have all of their normal social connections. This differs from past days where there really wasn't this type of housing option for a senior. In the past, there were nursing homes that provided all needed care, but they were closer to a hospital or dormitory.

Assisted living facilities are definitely transitional living for a senior who needs some care,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but is still capable of living on their own. They have their own housing, and the number of services are tailored to their individual needs. Thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a senior can enter assisted living if they simply want someone to take care of their cooking and cleaning needs. Then as time goes on, if their needs increase, all of the care services that can be provided by assisted living will be available to them in their new home.

While many a senior may be reluctant to leave the home they have been in for years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sometimes a fresh start can actually brighten their attitude. Their friends can still visit them in their new housing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and other members of the assisted living communities are there to share new friendships. More info about assisted living can be obtained online.
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Finding out about an infidelity and deception by a love partner can be quite disheartening and a very painful experience. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when one discovers about their partners unfaithfulness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they have two options,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one is to leave the relationship and never look back or to seek help so as to be able to forgive that partner and continue to be in a relationship with them.
The third step is that the cheating partner should empathize with the other party,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They should be there for their partners when they have an emotional meltdown and assure them that this was a onetime mistake that would never be repeated,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Also one should be ready to fully take responsibility by taking honest and sincere remorse. Be apologetic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even months and years after the infidelity.
The first step is that the cheating partner should promise to end the affair and to immediately cease all form of communication with their lover. This assures the betrayed individual of some sort of safety and a sign that the other person is willing to make their relationship work with their partner. If by any chance an individual works with their lover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they should keep their meetings strictly business and make sure they tell their partners all that happens.
The second step should be that the cheating partner should be ready to answer any questions asked to them by their partners no matter how uncomfortable it may be. The individual should be completely honest with their partner because this is the only way that both parties will be able to heal and move past the affair. Psychologists always say that if the partners never discuss the affair then they will never recover from that affair.
Fourthly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when one cheats on their partner they ought to be ready to talk and listen no matter how long their partner talks. No one should speed up the healing process of their partner and no one should negate the implication of the unfaithfulness.
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Psychologists have created a six step recovery process for cheating individuals who would wish to be forgiven by their partners and this has helped many partners to be able to move past the betrayal by their loved ones. These steps should involve both partners,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the one who cheated and the one who was cheated on so as to be a success.
By Dr,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Joe James
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Prayer
One of the most intimate activities you can share as a couple is prayer. When you talk to God together, sharing your most private thoughts, prayer becomes a team effort and you bond spiritually. Collaborative prayer unites the marriage partners into a unified voice, powerfully merging your marriage dreams, concerns and requests.
Imagine a triangle. Optimally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in a Christian marriage relationship, God is at the top and you and your partner are at opposite ends on the bottom. As the two of you grow spiritually, you will move upwards together toward God, up the triangle.
Over the last several years, our marriage has evolved in to a deeper partnership, with increased trust, confidence and security. Our communications and conflict resolution skills have improved. We selflessly serve each other,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], always looking for creative ways to express our love and foster romance.
Essentially, spiritual intimacy in marriage is about partnering with God; Harnessing His love, strength and leadership and utilizing that power in your marriage.
Sometimes meaningful relationships just "happen", but most often these connections don't occur by chance — you need to take initiative.
Experiencing that defining moment will launch you in to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Your life will change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Your marriage will change.
The first place to look might be around your church or small group. Ask yourself: Who's marriage do I respect? Do I know a couple who's "been there"? Who's marriage would serve an example to ours?
Not long ago, I defined "intimacy" as the physical part of our relationship. That definition has expanded.
If you and your spouse believe different things or are on opposite spiritual growth patterns, you will not only grow apart relationally, but your growth will stall spiritually. see this article
Initiating Spiritual Intimacy
Remember,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], spiritual intimacy doesn't just "happen" — We made specific decisions and commitments that made us accessible to what God wanted to do in our marriage.
Sheri and I have found that when we pray together, it's easier to recognize answered prayer. Praying together leads to communication throughout the day and causes anticipation about how God will respond.
When you think of intimacy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what comes to mind? A romantic date? Warm conversation? Candlelight dinner? Spending time together? Sex?
Our relationship has expanded beyond simple physical intimacy into a deep spiritual intimacy.
These relationships will support you. If you've been married a while, you know that "stuff happens" — Unemployment, financial difficulty,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sickness, marriage problems... even death. When life goes south, you need to be surrounded by quality people.
Engaging in a personal relationship with God is the first and most important step in initiating spiritual intimacy. Next,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to increase your accessibility to God. You need to position yourself in activities that will facilitate God-caused change in your marriage.
Community
To grow to your full "intimacy potential", you need to avail yourself to other like-minded people. Your first step toward community should be church involvement. Not just church attendance — You need to participate and connect with a local church.
The benefits of spiritual intimacy in our marriage are substantial. Our relationship is secure and strong; we have confidence about the future; our marriage has grown beyond simple human intimacy to a closeness only God could orchestrate.
Relationships
Trial and error is not the most effective means of achieving spiritual intimacy; yet that's the approach many couples take. The most direct route to spiritual intimacy is to engage in close relationships with other Christians and learn by example.
Take this quest seriously. Connecting in a mentoring relationship is the fast track to spiritual intimacy. article
To be honest, this new level of closeness caught me by surprise. Not long ago Sheri and I made spiritual decisions and commitments that, to us, seemed unrelated to our marriage. An upshot of our now changed lives is a stronger, more vibrant marriage — Spiritual Intimacy. It was a package deal.
Even a "good" marriage doesn't compare to a quality, God-centered marriage. Take the risk: Discover spiritual intimacy in your marriage.
Through the years our relationship became less selfish, richer and less physical. Now, don't misunderstand, the physical aspect of our relationship is still important and fulfilling. Somehow the physical element of intimacy now takes a backseat to a new, more meaningful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], intimacy experience.
By Jim Mueller
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A church will facilitate teaching, engage you in worship and provide a place where you can play an active role in a community of Christians. If you want to experience spiritual intimacy in your marriage, you both must connect with community.
Trying to be a good person is important, but what God really wants is to have a personal relationship with you. You do that by making a decision — You simply tell Him you have messed up and need Jesus Christ to be your personal savior. You decide to turn from your sin, as best you can, and ask Jesus to be your leader and friend. Simply talk to God; Pray to Him. More info...
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To achieve spiritual intimacy in your marriage, it's vital that you both are on the same page spiritually. That means you and your partner both need to "do business" with God — You both need to submit to Him and follow him.
Additionally, your church may provide marriage enrichment offerings: Retreats, workshops,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], training and counseling. Take advantage of these resources. Are you looking for a church?
Prayer is about listening too. Somehow combined prayer creates a heightened sensitivity to God's activity in our marriage. We are in sync with God's leadings in our lives. At first, praying together isn't a comfortable thing to do. For most of us, prayer is a very private activity. Disclosing your most personal thoughts to another person — even your spouse — is not easy. Here are some suggestions:
Until both of you feel comfortable praying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one of you might want to take the lead.
Decide in advance what you need to pray about. Remember the "ACTS" model: Adoration [worship], Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication [Requests]. Of course you don't need to hit on all of these.
As a guide, try writing out your prayers first.
Where to Start: Partnering With God
For the first half of our marriage Sheri and I were far from God. Sure we were "good" people, we attended church occasionally, we prayed — but we really didn't know God.
A mentoring relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the context of a small group or a one-on-one connection, will minimize missteps and provide a sounding board and safety net as you move forward. This is community on a deeper level.
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Meditation
Many meditation practices lead to the same intended outcome: being able to be present and at peace with what is. These practices can be active,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], passive, social, or sexual in nature. Sexual meditation is powerful because it helps us become physically, chemically, emotionally, and spiritually connected, loving, and vulnerable. It can show up in various manifestations in the body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], heart,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and mind:
Meditation allows for a magnified accessibility to what may unconsciously run us so we can become aware, be at choice, and shift what we want to shift in ourselves and our relationships. We can become more aware of where we are regarding sexual energy as it relates to fear, guilt, embarrassment, and shame—all the factors that often weigh us down and keep us from attaining what we want in life. When we can consciously access our sexual energy, we can transform these blocks or constrictions and work toward fuller expressions of our selves.
• Physically: your heart rate increases; you feel more sensitive and aware; you may have a warm, supple sensation.
• Chemically: oxytocin and endorphins are enhanced, resulting in deeper relaxation and calmness and decreased pain or discomfort.
• Emotionally: you feel more content,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], open, receptive, joyous, and trusting.
• Spiritually: you become connected, loving, and vulnerable.
Sexual energy as a source of creativity and pleasure is only available once we engage in becoming aware of and attuned to life force energy running through our physical bodies at all times like a current through a wire. When we can bring awareness to that flow we can start channeling the flow of that energy. This is not rocket science,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it requires focused practice that will lead to being able to channel aroused sexual energy at a more advanced state, bringing greater consciousness to oneself and creating more fulfillment in relationships.
Calming the chatter in the mind is at the core of bringing focus and attention to sexual energy. If we cannot be present with ourselves, how can we be present with another?
Sexual meditation is probably the most difficult technique to master because we’re so used to getting completely swept up in the pleasure and drama of sex. Nothing’s wrong with pleasure or drama, yet to become sexually intelligent you want to learn how to move beyond them and become conscious of non-aroused and aroused energy. And doing this requires practice.
Conscious Breathing
When we are in a state of integration, we don’t experience any blocks or constrictions in the energy flow within our bodies. Life force energy can move freely from one center to another,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keeping us in balance in body, heart, and mind. In this state we are at peace and so better able not just to live fulfilling lives but really to discover — or uncover — who we are.
Moving toward sexual intelligence requires skill building in three areas:
1. Conscious breathing
2. Meditation
3. Energy awareness, both non-aroused and aroused
Using breath consciously as a tool is the first step to entering the mindful world of sexual energy. When we are present with our breath we can reach a place of focus, stillness, and inner peace that allows us to go deeper into ourselves and our experiences. Particularly breathing into the expansion of the abdomen, called the belly breath, allows for activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This slows down the heartbeat, relaxes the muscles and makes us feel good. We “drop out of the head” into the body.
By Dr. Elsbeth Meuth
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Getting Intelligent
Energy Awareness
Using conscious breathing practices enables us to calm the incessant chatter of the mind and become the witness to our thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we are in this place of observing ourselves, we stop being stuck in our feelings, desires, and automatic wiring and instead witness what’s running us.
Sexual intelligence gives people a glimpse through the doorway to their own power. When people come to our TantraNova workshops they arrive with clear intentions of things they want to work on, of what they want to change or improve on or expand into. With the work we do, we help them begin to see richer ways to live—and how to move toward fulfilling their dreams and hopes. And that all starts with becoming sexually intelligent, including the conscious integration of one’s sexual, emotional, and spiritual self.
Just as the yoga we primarily practice in the West focuses on the physical body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the TantraNova approach focuses on the energetic body. To distinguish the energetic body we draw on energy fields based in the system of the chakras and the interconnected flow of energy up and down the spine (also called kundalini in Sanskrit). One important step in the process of moving toward a state of sexual intelligence is the integration of the energy fields, which results in a sense of wholeness.
Breath is the essence of life. From our first moment fresh from the womb until the last sigh of death,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we are breathing. Most of the time we breathe reflexively, without thinking; inhaling and exhaling our way through morning routines, work, car or train rides, exercise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and sleep.
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in the long years
how many vicissitudes
experienced many vicissitudes
I can't remember how many people
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the years old my life
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only hard shell
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let my branches have a green相关的主题文章:

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The recent split between Kim and Kris Humphries has been scrutinized to death and Kim has been heavily, and unfairly criticize. The break-up happened because Kim Kardashian came to her senses and realized he wasn’t the catch she thought he was. Why does everyone fault her for that?
Fantasy, by contrast,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is a conscious or subconscious self-projection of your wants onto a given situation/person. It is make-believe; it comes from wishing and hopefulness.
Kim Kardashian can only be faulted for something many of us do, men included. All of us at some point, have fantasized about something~maybe financial freedom, the perfect partner, the best house, the perfect job or boss~and if we were honest, we have even acted on that fantasy at times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the hopes that it would turn out to be possible or true. Kim is no different, she got swept up in fantasy-land in front of all of us and many attacked, forgetting that we were just the fortunate ones to not have done it publicly; give her a break.
Romance is actual connectedness; it is what leads us to fantasize. It is a sense or realization that there is true potential for something more/something deeper.
By Teagin Maddox,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].com
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Fantasy keeps us turned on and desirable, but if we don’t realize that is how we make critical decisions in love, it will trap us in bad cycles every time. Kim has been duped before, having left several men after their relationships turned sour, and if we learn anything at all from the Kardashian dash, it would be that Kim is one of the women who act from fantasy initially, then realizes it later,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and pays the price, wondering what happened and where things went wrong.
When functioning from fantasy, we project possibility and hopefulness into our beliefs about someone to get what we want, and in the process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we remove suspicion and dumb down or ignore reality and signals within us or from him that something is off, and choose to believe, instead, that something grander is occurring.
Clearly, she wasn’t tricked into marriage, but she was living in fantasyland and ignoring, excusing, or reasoning Humphries for things that should have sent her packing soon after they met. You can fault her for that, but not if you understand that she didn’t realize she was forcing the square peg.
Here is the distinction between Romance and Fantasy:
Blaming poor relationship judgment on romance removes accountability and implies chemistry and energy overtake reason, logic and awareness, which could leave Kim defenseless and headed for another round of bad love. If we assume she has no control over the outcome in love because she acts from romance, she is toast. Kim has the dangerous combo package of being very alluring and highly vulnerable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and because she is also very soft-hearted and obvious about her ways, she will always, and automatically, attract opportunistic men in the mix~so she must learn how to see them by understanding how she heads into relationships~and believing she led with high romanticism is not what went wrong for Kim with Kris Humphries.
Kim was acting from fantasy, not romanticism, and from the little I’ve seen of her, she seems to have many other characteristics like this that are typical of women who attract destructive men, sometimes repeatedly. (A few examples of these traits include: being highly sentimental,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], highly empathetic, leading with compassion, putting others feelings before their own,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], being the buffer for other people’s pain, having high tolerance, repeatedly giving chances for the same issues, being highly hopeful, leading with fantasy, being highly competitive-not giving up easily, etc...).
Romance is a consciousness of automatic energy, chemistry, attraction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], desire, and love-goals combing.
It is un-real, and unrealistic. It is formed from our perceptions and expectations, and does not necessarily mean something has the potential to develop into more/something deeper. Fantasy is not based on proof that something is; it is based on the idea of what you want, and it is based on your perception of romance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so it can therefore be disconnected from reality and truth.
Kim wanted what many women want when they get married~she wanted it all, the perfect wedding (check),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the man who would genuinely love and accepted her for who she is, flaws and all (uh-un-check). Many of us saw disaster written all over him, but Kim didn’t even suspect it. There are plenty of women who are good at fantasizing, like Kim, and that quality makes their feminine side more obvious and even more appealing to some men, but it causes women to be reality-blind, at least for a while.
When we operated from romance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is effortless, and reciprocal; it is essentially chemistry in action without hesitation.
Acting from fantasy is not the same as acting from romanticism. Kim’s mother, Kris Jenner, kindly reached out to defend her daughter publicly on one of the morning shows not long after the announcement of the split from Humphries, saying “Kim is just very romantic,” but this is a false assumption that could lead Kim to accept what comes if she makes another bad choice in men. I know her heart was in the right place, but this is an opportunity to learn that there is a muddy and difficult to absorb distinction between the romance and fantasy that makes all the difference in the world for women who consistently and subconsciously operate in love this way.
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What is the correct marriage definition? Well, in my own personal opinion - that really depends on you... to a point. Marriage can be defined in the religious sense or in the government sense.
Many will argue that the whole same sex marriage debate has no place in the government at all. Since it is just a legally binding contract between two adults, the government has no right to tell someone they can't enter into a contract with someone else,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], regardless of their sex or any other issue.
Personally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I don't think we should allow church and government to collide. The separation of church and state is in place so that the government can't persecute anyone for their religious,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or non religious, beliefs. Today, when it comes to the debate over marriage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the government is treading in the church's territory.
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When you get married, you have various tax and medical decision rights as the spouse. That is the contract between you and your spouse. That can change from one state to the next,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it is still a contract.
Here's what I mean. From a governmental point of view,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], marriage is basically just a legally binding contract between two consenting adults. It spells out the rights and responsibilities of each of the parties not only during their marriage but if their marriage should end too.
The church is well within it's rights to deny marriage between two people of the same sex if it goes against their beliefs. The government, however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is overstepping when it tries to tell two consenting adults who they can and cannot enter into a contract with.
Many argue that it would be the same if the government tried to tell two people of different races or faiths that they could not marry. In short, in this scenario, the government is overstepping it's bounds.
Some states even recognize a common law marriage. Basically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this states that after a couple has lived together for a certain period of time they have the same rights and responsibilities as a married couple.
Today we are going through many social changes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as is the case with most generations. There is a lot of heated argument over what marriage is and who should be allowed to marry.
And, as for common law marriage, I don't see the point. If the couple wanted the rights and responsibilities of marriage they should get married. If they don't want them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't get married. But don't expect the protection automatically when you didn't bother to get married.
This type of arrangement is not sanctified by the church, but it is recognized by several state governments.
It has no real significance from the standpoint of the law; the church doesn't dictate how assets will be divided in the event of a divorce or how much of a tax break you will get when you are married,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Terry Clark
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Now, the definition from a religious point of view is quite different. Most churches define marriage as a scared binding of two people that God finds pleasing.
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Get in touch quick... we can help... we understand AND even more importantly we will help you by asking questions that will help YOU make the changes you need to make to stop this pattern now, and to have the feelings, fun, passion and love in your life that you want and deserve.
So what happened? well after only a few questions about what this was costing her (and of course the answer was 'everything she'd ever wanted) about the signals she is giving off (this was never going to attract anyone, clients or men!) and probably most importantly the question...why would she do this to herself on a consistent basis.... (of course the answer is I have absolutely no clue) a miracle occurred!
So if you are in the mire, or stuck, or waking up each morning with a weight on your shoulders, in limbo, or with a gut renching pain in your stomach....
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So is it true that we can all have what we want? Tony & I believe the answer is, Yes definitely! if you don't take yourself too seriously, don't get wound up in your problems and you do have fun!!
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But the how? simple - she realised its just about letting go,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], changing focus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], caring for herself like at no other time in her life, surrounding herself with things she loves.... the list was endless....
The breakthrough happened,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the sun came out and she began to laugh at herself and the state she had got herself into when she realised that she was getting something from this 'issue', she was safe in 'her problem', she knew she had become an expert at beating herself up.... and then suddenly she knew it was over and that what she really wanted was to wake up excited about life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inspired by her work, showing up as a fun person to be around,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], happy inside herself and who knows a new romance... soon?
Yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I spoke to two people today,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one man and one woman and I suddenly realised that one of the things both men and women do is take it all too seriously!
P.S. The guy I spoke to today was having a completely different experience and guess what same symptoms! stress, worry, anxiousness, sleeplessness.... so same solution.... once he understood and accepted his pattern he knew what to do! he put himself first, took action and had a long term plan.... and got an excellent result... his energy changed immediately and the effect on his woman was miraculous.... he had been making one of the 7 Big Mistakes... are you?
The girl I spoke to is at a great time of her life, the world is literally her oyster,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she is free to go wherever she wants, do whatever she pleases and spend time with whoever she likes BUT like so many of us she didn't see it that way and so she was in worry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], doubt, regret, sadness, unforgiveness and holding onto a past relationship...all this giving her emotional and physical pain....
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Steps to Getting What You Want:
If you have difficulty in knowing what you want and communicating it, try these steps:
Men need to learn to listen to women's feelings when they want something. Women do not always respond to a direct request, they do better when feelings are talked about. Saying "Wait till the game is over, honey." will be received by a woman as disregarding her feelings. "I'm sorry it's bothering you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sweetheart, I'll take it out as soon as there's a commercial break." will let her know you care about her feelings, and she'll be happier with it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even though the result is the same.
Gender Differences
Women need to know how to ask men for what they want directly, and in a rational, not emotional manner. Men respond much better to "Honey, will you take out the garbage?" than to a whiney "The garbage can is overflowing, and it smells bad." or "I have to do everything around here." The indirect request is a female style of communication that works well with other women, but doesn't work well on men, because our thought processes are different.
If you follow these steps, you'll find you're successful a good percentage of the time, and when you aren't you have a backup plan – so you really can't lose.
Being clear about what you want is like putting all the true facts on the table, just as you lay all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle out, so you can see them better, and more easily solve your puzzle.
In addition to all these other restrictions on wanting, you may have the idea that the consequences of wanting are bad (no one will like you), and so it is too scary to know what you want. Because knowing what you want sometimes means you risk being disappointed and many people have an exaggerated idea of how bad disappointment feels (if I don't get what I want I'll be miserable), they avoid wanting at all.
2. Create a good atmosphere: If asking for what you want is difficult for you, don't do it without preparation. Make sure you and the person you're asking both have time, and invite the other person to sit down and talk with you.
Difference between Wanting and Demanding
Much of the confusion about expressing wants occurs because no distinction is made between wanting and demanding. Stating what you want is an effort to communicate clearly, so you and your partner can both be satisfied, while demanding is insisting that your partner give you what you want,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], without regard for his or her wants and feelings. You can tell the difference because when you are asking, you can handle getting a no answer; when you are demanding, you get upset if what you're asking for is denied. When you ask for what you want, you need to have a back-up plan in case the other person doesn't agree.
We often grow up suppressing our desires -- sometimes to the extent of not even being aware of them. Most of us learn in early childhood that:
~Wanting is selfish and that we should be polite and let others wants come first ("Be polite, let Susie have the toy")
~It isn't OK to want ("Don't even ask me for a cookie just before dinner")
~We want too much ("of course you can't have a new toy, do you think I'm made of money?")
~If we get what we want, someone else will be deprived.
5. Listen politely to the other person's answer: Whether the other person says yes, no, or something in between, listen carefully to what he or she says. Don't get all caught up in a lot of worry and noise inside your head – pay attention. You need to know what the answer is.
In your relationship, asking for what you want in a helpful, non-threatening way helps both you and your partner understand each other. If you don't know what you want, you won't realize if you achieve it. If you don't know what your partner wants,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can wind up with a false or one-sided solution, that will leave one or both of you feeling unsatisfied, overpowered, or manipulated. In couple counseling, when I ask partners to state their wants they often discover to their amazement that their wants are quite similar, and the problem disappears. The conflict between them was only their lack of understanding and communication.
In my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don't know how to ask for what they want, or don't think it's OK. Not asking for what you want means you'll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought I'd give some hints about how to ask for what you want. To really be successful, you need to understand the difference between asking and demanding, and how to approach different people.
Author's Bio:
How NOT to Get What You Want: (Common Mistakes):
~Exaggerate your want: The fear that you may not get what you want may cause you to say you want more than you really do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ("I want you here all the time"). This is confusing to both you and your partner, and because your wants are exaggerated, makes it look much more difficult to reach a satisfactory solution than it really is.
~Overstate your need: The fear that you won't get your wants met may cause you to state what you want as if your survival depended on it ("I'll just DIE if you don't come with me"). This causes your partner to feel suspicious that he or she is being manipulated, and resist cooperating with you.
~Argue for or justify your want: Anxiety that your wants are not important enough to be satisfied may lead you to present them as a persuasive argument,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with an overwhelming flood of reasons why you should want them or that the wants should be satisfied, ("I should get more of the money than you do, because ......."). This can provoke your partner to object and argue in return, rather than listen.
~Not say what you want: Belief that you won't get what you want anyway, or that differences in wants will cause a fight, may lead you to say you "don't care" or "it's not important" or just be silent, when the truth is you'll resent not getting what you want.
~Understate your want: Fear that your partner will be upset,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hurt or unhappy if you say what you really want may lead you to ask for something else ("Let's ask your sister to go with us" when you really want an evening all alone together.) This confuses your partner, and makes it impossible to get what you really want because you haven't said what it is.
By Tina Tessina - Dr. Romance
See all Articles by Tina TessinaSee Tina Tessina's Expert PageGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on Tina Tessina Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
4. Be prepared to accept a "no.": Remember, if you can't accept a no answer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you're making a demand,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not a request, so have a backup solution. Find a way to get what you want for yourself, even if the other person isn't cooperating. For example, if you don't get that raise you deserve, maybe it's time to begin a job search.
These internalized criticisms and restrictions make us anxious about getting what we want and even convinced that we won't.
Adapted from Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) ISBN# 978-1-59869-325-6 © Tina B.Tessina,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 2007
1. Get clear about what you want: You can't express what you want effectively if you're not clear what it is, so before approaching your partner, your boss or your child with a request, think about it and make sure you can write it down in one clear sentence.
3. Simply state what you want: Don't preface your statement with a lot of disclaimers – they make the other person feel accused of something. Just ask, politely, for what you want.
The Importance of Knowing What You Want
You may be wondering why being clear about what you want is getting so much emphasis here. Many people have serious trouble knowing what they want, feeling comfortable communicating it, and stating it clearly. Many people have difficulty solving problems because they do not know what they want, or, if they do know, cannot express it effectively to someone else.
The Importance of Wanting
If you don't know what you want, you'll have trouble getting it and experience a life-long feeling of deprivation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], disappointment, scarcity, and resentment. When you aren't able to express what you want clearly you'll have difficulty feeling generous about your partner's wants and needs.
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Surely sex is more about reproduction. And just what does it say about one when a person is so quick to dismiss any kind of a conversation related to sexuality?
By Martha Lee
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In other words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they never talked about their preferences when it comes to sexual position or technique. And because sex has become the elephant in the bedroom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I would suppose they also have never shared how they would prefer to be touched – much less ask for it. Not only have they not ventured into asking each other for feedback, they would most certainly not be coming up with new ideas of what they would like to do but have not tried any time soon.
This brings me back to: For most people, sex is a sensitive and difficult subject to talk about.
For most people, sex is a sensitive and difficult subject to talk about.
One of my favourite sayings goes like this: ‘If you don’t ask for what you want, you will most certainly not get it.’ But the first thing is to know what it is you want. And how will you know what it is you want or like if you have never tried it?
At networking events, I have been the butt of many jokes about the nature of my work. Somebody,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with X number of kids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will invariably say something to this effect: “Oh I won’t be needing any help from you. I have X kids to prove that I have no problems.”
I have come across a man who,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after 15 years of marriage, admitted that he and his wife have never talked about sex. Don’t get me wrong. They do have sex. They just don’t talk about it.
The truth of the matter is: how many of us were exposed to sexuality education growing up? And I don’t mean how the sperm meets the egg. I am also not just talking about how women bleed once a month (and the men going ‘eek!’), safer sex or sexually transmitted infections. I am referring to honest conversations about all aspects of one’s sexuality including: body image, sexual orientation, values,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], decision making, communication, dating,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], relationships, etc. as well as sex as a pleasurable act.
If we haven’t had such exposure,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just how do we begin to know what it is we don’t know,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but should know? And just how, with this lack of sexuality education, do we talk about sex in an adult and mature manner? We can’t. We want to but do not know how.
If sex is as simple as: trying something (be it a position, technique or otherwise); seeing if you like it; doing more of it; being sure of what you want; and then asking for it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], why aren’t more people doing A,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], B or C to get D? What is it about S-E-X that is so scary? What is about our sexuality that we are trying to (or not to) express?
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
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Are you ready for real love? In this day and age of fast-paced and short-lived relationships, it’s challenging and many times difficult, to find good, solid, effective, and useful, information that helps to build healthy and long-lasting romantic relationships.

poewrpona

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it is the fisherman's eyes
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and adopt a dewy Chrysanthemum
stuck in her hair
one soil to nourish a sentient beings
drag tone in Anqing dialect
is Huangmei Opera
so good
just hold her hand
slowly sing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], laugh
life slowly
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Chrysanthemum color of the smiling face
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is a rising sun
brilliant and bright
smile like sunshine in your
the garden chrysanthemum color
changing into a golden
really want to be a bee
and want to be a butterfly
kissed the chrysanthemum color of the smiling face
Wing Hung
the fragrance of flowers
fly into this piece of chrysanthemum color long
more want to gently
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Oh, my dear
when you back a moment
I know
you are not belong to me
in your eyes
I don't blink
Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], autumn
when you kiss my moment
you know
I need warm
in my eyes
you read sorrow
Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dear
Why do you leave now?
not extort,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
love you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so
I will give you freedom
you know
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Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], autumn
you and how many people have been agreed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
endless miles of Meiyu
is put away your promise
basking in the sun
invite bright moon
you know
my request is so small
Oh, dear
season when is autumn
have a look the wall calendar
traditional person
the continuation of the traditional philosophy
you know
I most love the warmth
Oh, autumn
leaves fall to the ground of the moment
the wind nodded and smiled
to end also attached to it
you know
call it scattered the dust
generations together again
Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dear
when more simple
us around the table playing
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one autumn
who knows
more grow up more not pure
Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], autumn
is forgotten years
or years changed people
indifference
I know
call it scattered the dust
hope only old man looked
Dear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after the autumn
Dear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], carefully after each autumn
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The bullets whistled,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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people cheering,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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across the screen to see war,
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last,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
just chatting occasionally topic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].相关的主题文章:

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The ground spread all across in confusion shoes
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bed at sixes and sevens,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
the table also not eat melon seeds
the empty plastic bottles
two fan dark windows
three paintings full of poetry writing paper
and smelly socks
the night
before I go to sleep,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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